I got pregnant when I should have been social distancing. So now I can’t tell my friends or family about the termination
There are two pink lines. Amid the chaos of this spring – the pandemic, lockdown, looming economic crisis – just one thing is certain: I am pregnant.
I am 36 and, strictly speaking, single. Before lockdown, I had secretly started seeing my ex, Jon, again. It wasn’t perfect, but freed us from pressure to define our relationship to anybody. Then lockdown hit. The arts industry in which I work vanished overnight. I was alone in my tiny flat, depressed, desperately missing my work, friends, family … and Jon. I craved the feel of skin. He believed he had already had Covid-19, and we both lived alone, so surely it couldn’t be so bad if we met up?
Two days before my appointment, I had a surprise call from the hospital
Related: It shouldn’t be left to women to fight alone for abortion rights | Gaby Hinsliff
With lockdown came new versions of shame and judgment for rule-breakers, and I dread the extra explaining
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