Adjusting to parenthood without a mother as a touchstone can be poignant, complex and emotionally challenging
There’s a profound psychological transformation that happens upon becoming a mother. Many women turn to their own mothers to glean insight, sometimes feeling a deepening of connection, or at the very least a more well-rounded understanding of their maternal lineage. But if your mother has passed away, or if the relationship is too damaging to hold on to, nascent motherhood can be laced with a new kind of grief.
In the absence of that connection, the transition to motherhood might take on different meaning altogether. Some women find they have a new appreciation for the complexities of what their own mothers endured; they may begin to feel more strongly bonded to them even in their absence. Others may experience a sense of isolation, pangs of envy or fits of anger. Adjusting to motherhood without a mother as a touchstone can make for a complex and poignant period.
I find it so strange that you can have a hard relationship with a parent, but still think I just want my mom
Sara Gaynes Levy is a freelance writer in New York City covering health, wellness, and women’s issues.
Jessica Zucker is a Los Angeles-based psychologist specializing in women’s reproductive and maternal mental health and the author of the forthcoming book I Had a Miscarriage: A Memoir, A Movement (Feminist Press, 2021).
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