‘I was diagnosed with tokophobia, a fear of pregnancy and childbirth. I’d never heard of it but was told it was a very real condition’
I had wanted a family for as long as I could remember. I was introduced to Andrew by his sister, and we married in June 2012, a year later. I was 36 and he was 38, and we were conscious of our age and knew we wanted children, so we started trying immediately. After nine months of disappointment, a home pregnancy test finally revealed I’d got my wish.
I expected to feel elated, but looking at the result I felt fear and terror wash over me. I was convinced that I could not keep the baby. I was so confused and ashamed, I didn’t tell Andrew for a week. When I eventually broke the news, I said, “I’m pregnant, but I can’t go through with it.” He was bewildered and angry, and I was distraught. I just knew that the only way I would feel better would be to terminate the pregnancy I’d wanted for so long.
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from Pregnancy | The Guardian http://ift.tt/1E9drVl
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