I want be a single mum, but feel envious of peers with partners | Annalisa Barbieri

It is good that you are getting expert counselling, but seeking support from other solo mums might be helpful too

I am a very lucky person who has a huge amount to be happy and grateful for. But although I have many excellent friendships, I have had very few romantic relationships. I am now 36 and after 10 years of giving dating a real “go”, I have decided to become a single mum by choice. This has been a very positive decision for me and I am excited about the journey.

During a pre-screening psychological counselling session, the psychologist spoke about the grief many women in my shoes experience as a result of not having the family they’d hoped for. Although I was aware of this and have worked extensively on self-acceptance with my own therapist, I now feel deep sadness and regret at being unable to have formed a relationship with someone who wanted to have children with me. In my friends and colleagues groups, this sets me apart from most women my age. I am envious of the companionship and support my peers receive from their partners.

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The loss of access to and respect for autonomous midwifery is tragic | Letters

A concerned NHS midwife responds to an article about the Free Birth Society

I’m an NHS midwife, despairing over your article (Influencers made millions pushing ‘wild’ births – now the Free Birth Society is linked to baby deaths around the world, 22 November). My key frustration, though, is how, as with any successful charlatanism, there is truth and real fear being exploited: medical overreach blights lives, women can and should trust their bodies, and a healthy body rarely grows a baby it can’t birth.

However, physiology is not a perfected endpoint. Evolution continues with genetic variation spreading through a population by “survival of the fittest”. In the brutal “wild”, the least “well-adapted” (whether by health or circumstance) do not survive. Human beings, however, don’t like those odds. Medical intervention, yes, but a body of life-saving social knowledge has been passed down since language began, towards facilitating successful birth.

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‘I tried to capture her inner world – but couldn’t’: Tom de Freston on painting his wife pregnant and nude

The artist and his wife, novelist Kiran Millwood Hargrave, lost seven pregnancies before their daughter was born. They explain how his nude paintings of her helped them process their grief – and eventual joy

‘The subject comes with huge baggage and I like that,” says Tom de Freston. The painter and I are in his studio in a village outside Oxford, surrounded by nude portraits of his wife, the novelist Kiran Millwood Hargrave. “I wanted to ask, ‘What does it mean as a male artist to be looking at the female figure? And where does the agency sit?’”

We have been talking about Titian’s Poesie series, how those paintings – commissioned by the most powerful man in the world at the time, King Philip II of Spain – fetishise the naked female body. “Obviously there’s other things going on in them … I think Titian’s often prodding at morality and power,” De Freston says.

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I got an epidural for all three of my births – none of them worked as expected

Here’s what you should know before getting an epidural – and why it might not provide full pain relief as expected

The first time I got an epidural, it was too late.

I’d heard it was best to wait, for fear the medication would run out mid-labor (I later found out this is a myth). So I gritted my teeth through hours of contractions, and when I finally told the nurses I was ready, the anesthesiologist was with another patient.

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NHS directed pregnant women to controversial Free Birth Society via charity

Exclusive: NHS websites pointed women to factsheet featuring podcast by ‘dangerous’ influencers linked to baby deaths

• Full story: How the FBS is linked to baby deaths around the world

The NHS has been directing pregnant women to a website that connected them to the Free Birth Society, an organisation that has been linked to baby deaths around the world after promoting labour without medical support.

A number of NHS trusts are directing women who are contemplating a “free birth” to a charity website that until Monday referred to FBS podcasts as a source of “empowering stories” that can help British women “preparing for their own birth”.

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Monday briefing: What a new Guardian investigation reveals about a group ‘radicalising’ women into unassisted birth

In today’s newsletter: A report dives into the disturbing story of a ‘wild’ pregnancy and freebirth business that ‘radicalises’ women, with tragic consequences

Good morning. This weekend, the Guardian launched the results of its year-long investigation into radical free birthing, and the US-based Free Birth Society (FBS). Our reporting reveals how influencers made millions by pushing “free births”, with no medical support, and how the society is now linked to the deaths of newborn babies around the world.

FBS, a multimillion dollar business, promotes a version of free birth, otherwise known as unassisted birth, that is seen as extreme, even among advocates of the practice. Unlike home births, which have a midwife in attendance, free birth involves delivering without medical assistance. The FBS advises mothers to steer clear of doctors and midwives, is anti-ultrasound (which it falsely claims harms babies) and downplays serious medical conditions, the Guardian found.

Ukraine | European countries proposed a radical alternative Ukraine peace plan on Sunday that omits some of the pro-Russia points made in the original US-backed document and calls for Kyiv’s sovereignty to be respected.

Politics | Rachel Reeves will launch a fresh crackdown on benefit fraud, alongside scrapping the two-child welfare limit and freezing rail fares, while putting forward a multibillion-pound tax-raising package.

Media | The BBC is planning to overhaul the way it investigates editorial concerns, in a move that will dilute the influence of a Conservative figure accused of trying to sway its political impartiality.

Skye Gyngell | Tributes have been paid to the pioneering chef and restaurant proprietor, who has died aged 62.

Politics | David Cameron has disclosed he was treated for prostate cancer and has called for a targeted screening programme.

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Five key findings from our investigation into the Free Birth Society

Year-long investigation into multimillion-dollar business exposed serious concerns, from dangerous medical claims to FBS-linked stillbirths

• Full story: How the FBS is linked to baby deaths around the world

The Free Birth Society (FBS) is a business run from North Carolina that promotes the idea of women giving birth without midwives or doctors present.

It is led by Emilee Saldaya and Yolande Norris-Clark, ex-doulas turned social media influencers who have gained a global following through the FBS podcast, which has been downloaded millions of times.

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Influencers made millions pushing ‘wild’ births – now the Free Birth Society is linked to baby deaths around the world

A year-long investigation reveals how mothers lost children after being radicalised by uplifting podcast tales of births without midwives or doctors

As Esau Lopez was asphyxiated for the first 17 minutes of his life on Earth, the atmosphere in the room remained serene, even ecstatic. Acoustic music crooned from a speaker in a modest two-bedroom apartment in a suburb of Pennsylvania. “You are a queen,” murmured one of three friends in the room.

Only Esau’s mother, Gabrielle Lopez, felt something was wrong. She was pushing hard, but her son would not be born. “Can you help [him] out?” she asked, as Esau crowned. “Baby is coming,” the friend replied. Four minutes later, Lopez asked again, “Can you grab [him]?” Another friend murmured, “Baby is safe.” Six minutes passed. Again, Lopez asked, “Can you grab [him]?”

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Everything I wish I’d known before I decided to freeze my eggs at 36

More and more people are turning to egg freezing to increase their chances of becoming a parent. Here’s what you need to know if you’re considering it – from the hidden costs to the chances of success

When I first told my mother I was freezing my eggs, she asked: “So my grandchildren are going to be stored next to some Häagen-Dazs?” (Very funny, Mum.) I’m one of an increasing number of women in the UK who have chosen to put their eggs on ice in order to preserve their fertility, although this does – as discussed later – have clear limitations.

According to the Human Fertilisation and Embryology Authority (HFEA), the UK’s regulator for the fertility industry, there was a 170% increase in the number of egg freezing cycles between 2019 and 2023. The technology has been around since the 80s, but became more accessible in the 00s with vitrification, a flash-freezing technique. Now, celebrities such as Florence Pugh and Michaela Coel openly discuss their experiences of it, and companies such as Meta, Spotify and Goldman Sachs subsidise the procedure for employees.

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The inevitable inelegance of the third trimester: the Edith Pritchett cartoon

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Pregnancy after loss has shown me that love doesn’t end – it just changes shape | Lauren Farrugia

I’ve learned that grief and love can coexist, not as opposites but as two currents running in the same river

Pregnancy after loss is full of contradictions. It is hope that feels cautious, like it might dissolve if you breathe too hard. It is learning to live again inside a body that remembers grief.

I am now officially in my third trimester, and each day brings small signs of life: a flutter, a roll, a hiccup, the steady rhythm of his heart. I am growing a baby I will meet, hold and raise. But I have also carried a baby I never got to meet. For 13 weeks, my body held her. It nurtured her, protected her, grew her placenta, still believing she was safe. And in a way, she was. My husband told me then: “She only ever knew love and warmth”, and that has never left me.

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No link between paracetamol in pregnancy and autism or ADHD in children, review finds

Wide-ranging review finds no convincing connection after Trump said women should ‘fight like hell’ to avoid painkiller

A wide-ranging review into paracetamol use by pregnant women has found no convincing link between the common painkiller and the chances of children being diagnosed with autism and ADHD.

Publication of the work was fast-tracked to provide prospective mothers and their doctors with reliable information after the Trump administration urged pregnant women to avoid paracetamol – also known as acetaminophen or Tylenol – claiming it was contributing to rising rates of autism.

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Firms not supporting staff through IVF could lose £217m in hidden costs, study shows

Cost of sick leave for appointments, productivity loss and resignations is more than of paid leave, research estimates

UK employers who do not formally support staff undergoing fertility treatments could be losing £217.3m a year in sick leave, lost productivity and resignations, research estimates.

Companies without fertility leave pay £35,317 per affected employee, compared with a cost of £388 for 10 days’ paid leave when a clear fertility policy is in place, the campaign group Fertility Matters at Work estimated.

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Women must be warned of home birth risks and have access to skilled midwives, experts say

Exclusive: Pregnancy experts warn of inadequate medical advice and lack of safe and reliable care

Women must be given clearer warnings on the potentially fatal dangers of giving birth at home and should only be aided by experienced midwives, experts have said.

Maternity services worldwide are dealing with an increase in the number of women with more complex pregnancies. Many are choosing to have their baby in a familiar environment, in the comfort and privacy of their own home. Some choose a home birth because having their first baby in hospital was “deeply traumatic” and they are reluctant to repeat the experience.

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UK’s unregulated pregnancy scan clinics putting lives in danger, say experts

Hospital specialists report cases of missed health problems, misdiagnosed conditions, and women erroneously told their babies had died

High street clinics offering pregnancy scans could be putting unborn babies and their mothers in danger through a lack of properly trained staff, UK experts have warned.

According to the Society for Radiographers (SoR), high street clinics have seen a huge growth in numbers. However, hospital specialists say they have seen cases of missed health problems, misdiagnosed conditions, and situations in which women were erroneously told their babies were malformed or had died.

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Unregulated sperm donor still advertising services despite court warnings to women

Exclusive: Behaviour of Robert Albon, or ‘Joe Donor’, described as compulsive by judge who said he targeted vulnerable women

A prolific unregulated donor is still attempting to sell his sperm despite warnings from two family court judges, a Guardian investigation has found.

Robert Albon, who calls himself “Joe Donor”, has appealed to the courts to gain access to at least four of his biological children against their mothers’ wishes. In a rare move, a judge named him in 2023 to warn women of the risks of using his services, which he promotes on social media.

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