Men and miscarriage: ‘I finally cried my eyes out’

When a mother has a miscarriage, men tend to snap into being strong, stoic and supportive. But a father also needs time to grieve. Here, Steve Bloomfield reflects on loss and hears how men are learning to help each other come to terms with what might have been

The spring before the pandemic, we went to Dungeness in Kent to stay with some friends. One blustery morning, Hazel and I walked up and down the desolate beach – nuclear power station in the distance, abandoned boats and buildings dotted across the shingles – debating whether or not to try to have a second child.

With the wind at our backs, we talked about why we shouldn’t – the difficulty of pregnancy, the loneliness of maternity leave, the challenge of doubling the number of people who relied upon us. We were both knackered already just with one – would we be able to cope with two?

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‘Going to hospital meant risking our lives’: the terror of giving birth in Gaza

Women such as Hanan face labour at home without medical help or pain relief, with only neighbours and relatives to help

When Hanan went into labour earlier this month, she was caught between the pain and fear of facing childbirth without medical help, and the terror of Israeli airstrikes and snipers if she tried to reach hospital.

With hospitals emptying of supplies, raided by the Israeli military and already filled far beyond capacity with victims of the war, she decided to bring her youngest son into the world at home.

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States to award anti-abortion centers nearly $250m in post-Roe surge

At least 16 states will fund largely unregulated facilities that try to convince people to continue their pregnancies

In the months since the US supreme court overturned Roe v Wade, at least 16 states have agreed to funnel more than $250m in taxpayer dollars towards anti-abortion facilities and programs that try to convince people to continue their pregnancies.

Much of that money is set to go to anti-abortion counseling centers, or crisis pregnancy centers, according to data provided by the Guttmacher Institute and Equity Forward, organizations that support abortion rights. It has been paid out throughout 2023 and will stretch into 2025.

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A Christmas that changed me: I was in no mood to celebrate. Then came an epiphany on Hampstead Heath

As I entered the final weeks of pregnancy, I didn’t want to wallow but nor could I summon any sparkle. On a walk with my family, I had a sudden sense of the ineffable

We are a Christmas family, but not a Christian family. My mother is a Buddhist-Shintoist. My father enjoys a good stained-glass window, a jolly carol, and thinks it doesn’t really matter if Jesus was real. It is my mother who adores Christmas. During childhood she’d spend the year saving up tiny perfect things for our stockings – a doll-sized tin pail, a bear so small he disappeared if you closed your fist around him, a fat red pencil. Some of the family ornaments date to her girlhood.

She was raised by two immigrants neither of whom believed in Christmas but who wanted to give their daughter everything. So we hang those angels despite their broken wings. The religious might say that to love Christmas without believing misses the point. But a solstice celebration of food and family still seemed beautiful to me.

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I miscarried, while my best friend had a healthy baby. Is it time to move on from the friendship?

It’s hard to connect if you’re not really seeing each other, writes advice columnist Eleanor Gordon-Smith, and there are only two ways of resolving it

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After many years of waiting for the “right time” and then trying to conceive, my best friend and I became pregnant at almost exactly the same time. I miscarried at 11 weeks, while she went on to have a healthy baby.

I had to distance myself from my friend, as her growing bump was such a cruel reminder of my loss. I felt immensely guilty about it, because obviously she had done nothing wrong. At the time I thought she understood, but when I felt ready to reconnect after the baby was born, she made some comments that showed perhaps she didn’t get it at all. There was an accusation that I had abandoned her. It also felt like a selfish comment, because in all that time she had never checked in with me to see if I was OK, and I also could have done with a friend.

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Alabama woman with two uteruses gives birth twice in two days

Kelsey Hatcher, 32, delivered healthy daughters after 20 hours of labor, one day apart – giving each twin a separate birthday

An Alabama mother with a rare double uterus has delivered a set of twins, the hospital treating her announced on Friday.

In what doctors are calling a “one-in-a-million” pregnancy, 32-year-old Kelsey Hatcher delivered a set of twin daughters, one of whom was in each womb, at the University of Alabama at Birmingham (UAB) hospital.

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GPs to offer more mental health support for mothers in England after giving birth

GPs will use six to eight-week health check to screen for postnatal depression or PTSD as a result of labour

Mothers in England will be asked in detail if pregnancy or giving birth has affected their mental health as a result of new NHS guidance to GPs.

The move is part of a drive by NHS England to improve support for women suffering postnatal depression or other mental health problems linked to their pregnancy or childbirth.

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‘Morning’ sickness is noon and night too | Brief letters

Pregnancy myths | Tony Blair’s regrets | Living with dementia | No postal delays for bills | Letter writing recognition

Nearly 20 years ago, my wife was pregnant with our son and I was a new GP (Morning sickness breakthrough raises hopes of possible cure, 13 December). I remember her waking suddenly from a deep sleep in the night and bolting for the toilet to vomit seconds later. The recent coverage has, inevitably, referred to it as morning sickness. The “morning” part has served to diminish it for generations. Pregnancy-induced sickness happens in the morning, afternoon, evening and, yes, in the wee hours too. Can we please stop with the “morning” sickness?
Dr Euan Lawson
Editor, British Journal of General Practice

• Many thanks, Bertie Carvel (Bertie Carvel looks back: ‘My mother was a force. She made me who I am’, 16 December). I now know the answer. To those people who ask me how I feel about my husband, who is suffering from dementia, I shall say I’m “grieving in slow motion”. My feelings now have a perfect description.
Name and address supplied

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In a surrogacy deal between a rich and poor woman, only one is acting as a free agent | Catherine Bennett

Celebrities pay well to outsource childbirth, but given the exploitation and health risks can it ever be enough?

Considering how quickly “too posh to push” once took off as a way of rebuking mothers who planned to cheat nature with a C-section, current reporting about affluent women who, for reasons seemingly unconnected to fertility, outsource entire pregnancies to poorer women is distinguished by a touching delicacy.

So much so that a whole new vocabulary – “welcomed”, “surrogacy journey”, “gestational carrier” – is now helping normalise these womb-saving conveniences. You would hardly know from the tributes to celebrity hirers of surrogates, customarily accompanied by zero interest in the labouring women’s journeys, that commercial surrogacy is banned in most of the world, and only occurs within the UK in its expenses-only form. And some will certainly take it as a sign of progress that, even as studies expose the long-term health problems associated with childbirth, no reason now seems too trivial to justify paying a less fortunate woman to risk these complications.

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Boston fertility doctor accused of impregnating patient with own sperm

Dr Merle Berger told patient Sarah Depoian sperm had come from an anonymous donor, new lawsuit claims

A leading Boston-based fertility doctor secretly impregnated a patient with his own sperm despite telling her that it had come from an anonymous donor, new a lawsuit has claimed.

According to a civil claim filed in US district court in Boston on Wednesday, Dr Merle Berger, founder of Boston IVF and a professor of obstetrics, gynecology and reproductive biology at Harvard medical school for over three decades, secretly impregnated a patient, Sarah Depoian, who had been seeking intrauterine insemination.

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Morning sickness breakthrough raises hopes of possible cure

Hormone produced by foetus is trigger for nausea and vomiting in pregnancy, study finds

Scientists have uncovered why many women experience morning sickness during pregnancy, raising the prospects of a cure for the condition.

The study revealed that a hormone produced by the foetus is the trigger for nausea and vomiting in pregnancy, which in extreme cases can require hospital treatment. Crucially, women who have naturally low levels of the hormone prior to pregnancy tend to be more sensitive to the surge of the hormone, called GDF15, in the first trimester, the research suggests.

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When you stop trying to get pregnant: ‘I’m not willing to put my body through any more’

Black people who have experienced infertility talk about the difficult decision to end their pursuit of parenthood

A ghost haunted the labor and delivery unit the night my daughter was born.

I remember hearing her guttural wails and begging her to stop screaming. But as the night wore on and the nurses came to check my wrecked vitals, the haze of childbirth and the oxytocin-induced euphoria that made me think I was holding my baby faded.

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UK regulators ‘should act to curb rise in cost of infant formula’

British Pregnancy Advisory Service found 65% of mothers were worried about price of feeding their babies

Regulators should take action to curb a sharp rise in the price of infant formula, pregnancy campaigners have said, after a UK survey found more than half of women felt anxious about the cost of feeding their babies, with the number who expressed concerned rising by a quarter in two years.

The British Pregnancy Advisory Service (BPAS) found 65% of mothers were worried about the price of feeding their babies, and the same number said it had a negative impact on their family’s finances. A third of women felt it was “better” for babies to be fed the more expensive milk, despite there being no nutritional benefits.

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‘Our son was eight years in the making’: 11 women on getting through the marathon of infertility

A growing number of Black women in the US are choosing IVF, surrogacy and other medical interventions to have children – and ending the silence around their difficulties conceiving

When Monique Farook finally let go of what had been her secret shame, her mother’s response was fast and painfully plain: “Infertility? What is that?”

Those were her exact words, recalled Farook, who spent six months trying to get pregnant, then almost four years trying to convince her husband that in vitro fertilization (IVF) or some other assisted reproductive technology was the way to go. After one failed intrauterine insemination (IUI), where sperm is injected into the uterus, and a successful round of IVF, where an embryo is implanted, Farook finally gave birth to her son, now six-year-old Omar.

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Medication and egg sharing: how Black women trying to get pregnant create their own healthcare networks

Mutual aid helps these women navigate the tolls of infertility, offering support many say they rarely receive in clinical settings

For many Black women in the US, infertility has a complicated duality. The inability to conceive is often invisible, pushed out of view by shame, the racist notion that Black women are hyperfertile, or the idea that such struggles should remain private. Yet for people aspiring to parenthood amid fertility problems, getting the family they want often requires complete transparency about their condition.

Community support is particularly critical for Black women, who face a slew of health disparities in fertility medicine. They’re much less likely to be referred by doctors for fertility treatment – perhaps due to the myth Black women get pregnant with ease – even though studies suggest that they experience infertility at a rate twice as high as white women.

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Black women are more likely to experience infertility than white women. They’re less likely to get help, too

IVF has helped hundreds of thousands get pregnant. But Black women in the US, saddled with the myth of hyper-fertility and biased reproductive care, often lack the assistance they need

In 1991, a Kansas state legislator proposed paying women on welfare to get Norplant, a contraceptive that when inserted in the upper arm would prevent pregnancy for five years. His proposal followed a 1990 Philadelphia Inquirer editorial that linked two news events – the federal government’s approval of Norplant and a report that showed half the country’s Black children were living in poverty.

The editorial suggested women on welfare – presumed to be Black – should receive Norplant for free: “Dare we mention them in the same breath? To do so might be considered deplorably insensitive, perhaps raising the specter of eugenics. But it would be worse to avoid drawing the logical conclusion that foolproof contraception could be invaluable in breaking the cycle of inner-city poverty.”

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An English couple, a Ukrainian surrogate and a baby: the extraordinary story of how war united two unlikely families

Anastasia was living in Zaporizhzhia and was pregnant with Dorothy and Charlie’s baby. Then Russia invaded and she knew she had to escape to save the child …

One cold day in December 2021, a former primary schoolteacher in Suffolk opened her laptop, clicked on a Zoom link and was introduced to a beautician in Ukraine who would carry her baby. Dorothy, then 43, and her husband Charlie, 44, who worked for a printing company, had been trying to conceive for eight years. When the last attempt ended in miscarriage, a consultant had suggested surrogacy.

The agency had sent a number of women’s profiles to choose from. Among them was Anastasia. She had a young son called Alexander, a pet hamster, and didn’t like fish or aubergines. She had a soft round face, dark hair down to her shoulders and a way of looking at her child that Dorothy thought was tender.

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What is whooping cough and why are cases rising in England and Wales?

Data shows increase in infections and experts advise vaccination for pregnant women, babies and young children

Whooping cough might sound like a disease of the Victorian era, but according to new data from public health bodies, it is on the rise in the UK.

Looking at 2023 until late November, data from the UK Health Security Agency (UKHSA) has revealed there were 1,141 suspected cases in England and Wales, compared with 450 for the same period of 2022 and 454 for that period in 2021 – about a 250% increase.

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Weekend podcast: Marina Hyde on Omid Scobie’s royal naming mishap, and the extraordinary story of an English couple, a Ukrainian surrogate and a baby

Marina Hyde ponders the small slip that sent Omid Scobie’s Harry and Meghan book into orbit (1m18s); and an English couple, a Ukrainian surrogate and a baby: the extraordinary story of how war united two unlikely families (8m51s).

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Call to help UK IVF patients donate unused embryos after shortage hinders research

Scientists complain after ‘sheer waste’ of human embryos discarded despite patients’ wishes

Leading scientists are calling for a change in the law to help IVF patients donate unused embryos to biomedical research after a collapse in donations over the past 15 years.

The increasing commercialisation of IVF, overstretched NHS clinics and cumbersome paperwork are blamed for a 25-fold decrease in the number of donated embryos. Scientists described some patients going to “extraordinary lengths” to ensure their embryos could be used for research rather than discarded, with many private clinics failing to routinely offer donation as an option.

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Pregnant women near farms had higher weedkiller levels during spraying season

Urine found to contain ‘significantly’ increased concentrations of glyphosate, which is associated with fetal problems

Pregnant women living near farm fields show “significantly” increased concentrations of glyphosate weedkiller in their urine during periods when farmers are spraying their fields with the herbicide, according to a new scientific paper published on Wednesday.

The research team said the findings were concerning, given recent studies that have found gestational exposure to glyphosate is associated with reduced fetal growth and other fetal problems. Glyphosate separately has been linked to cancer and other health problems.

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Trial shows more than 90% of women trying for baby lack essential nutrients

Most of those tested lack nutrients crucial for healthy foetal development as found in abundance in meat and dairy products

More than 90% of women who are trying for a baby may have marginal or low levels of vitamins that are essential for a healthy pregnancy, according to researchers who say the problem will likely worsen as vegetarian diets become more popular.

Tests on more than 1,700 women in the UK, New Zealand and Singapore who planned to conceive revealed most were lacking nutrients found in abundance in meat and dairy products, many of which are crucial for healthy foetal development.

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California woman cleared of murder charge for baby’s death in home birth

Kelsey Carpenter, 34, pleads guilty to child endangerment after she gave birth at home in 2020 and called 911 when her baby died

California prosecutors have dismissed a murder charge against a woman who was facing life in prison after her newborn died during a home birth, resolving a case that sparked national outrage.

Kelsey Carpenter, 34, was arrested in November 2020 for child endangerment after she gave birth at home and called 911 when her baby did not survive. Although the county coroner deemed the death an “accident”, and state law prohibits the prosecution of women for pregnancy losses, the San Diego district attorney, Summer Stephan, charged her with murder “with malice”.

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Fertility patients in UK targeted by ‘concerning’ IVF adverts on social media

Some clinics are claiming to ‘guarantee’ success or offer ‘no baby, no fee’ promotions online

Vulnerable fertility patients are being targeted by adverts on social media that experts warn could be breaching rules by guaranteeing couples a baby or making other misleading claims.

The Guardian discovered a number of adverts for IVF clinics on Instagram that the Advertising Standards Authority (ASA) described as concerning and is now reviewing. These adverts are directed at users who show an interest in IVF through their online searches.

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