We need to find the courage to talk openly at work about the impact of miscarriage

One in four pregnancies ends in miscarriage, yet talking about the experience remains taboo in many Australian workplaces. It’s time for that to change

It happens to one in four pregnancies and is more likely to have an effect on a woman’s life than breast cancer and ovarian cancer. But miscarriage is rarely, if ever, discussed openly.

It is Mother’s Day next Sunday in Australia. Across the country, while many families will be celebrating, there will be more women than we realise mourning the loss of a baby that was never born.

Related: 'Don't push down your grief': our readers describe the pain of miscarriage | Guardian readers and Sarah Marsh

Related: Baby loss awareness week: we need to talk about miscarriage

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Gay couple win custody battle against Thai surrogate mother

Gordon Lake and Manuel Santos faced legal fight after surrogate changed her mind when she found out they were gay

A same-sex couple have won a legal battle in Thailand against the surrogate mother who gave birth to their daughter but later refused to sign the paperwork to allow the baby to leave the country when she found out they were gay.

The central juvenile and family court on Tuesday ruled in favour of Gordon Lake, an American and the biological father of 15-month-old Carmen, and his Spanish husband, Manuel Santos, both 41.

Related: Gay parents fight to leave Thailand with surrogate baby daughter

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Why I spent £2,000 on pregnancy scans

The fears and paranoia in the weeks before the birth of her first daughter threatened to spoil everything

Pregnancy tests become more affordable if bought in bulk online. And if you’re prepared to forfeit the plastic casing around the thin strip that actually does the business, they’re cheaper still (though there’s a much greater risk of peeing on your hand). I’m a bit of an expert, having taken more than 100 in the space of five weeks. I also know a bit about ultrasound scans. The NHS provides one at 12 and again at 20 weeks pregnant. I needed a bit more reassurance than that; at a cost of almost £2,000 over seven months.

We are sold a rose-tinted view of impending motherhood, bombarded with images of women with neat little bumps, faces radiant with joy and excitement. The message is clear: enjoy this special time.

Related: Joy, fear and hating the word ‘bump’: nine things I learned about pregnancy

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Are you worried about your fertility? Young people share their stories

Rising house prices and financial instability are putting young people off starting families. But some fear they might be leaving it too late

When do your chances of getting pregnant start to decline – late 20s, early 30s or after the age of 35? If your answer is the latter, you might be surprised to hear that in fact fertility rates for both men and women decline gradually from their late 20s.

Most people, however, are not aware of this. A poll, conducted to mark the Fertility Health summit, found worrying gaps in many 16- to 24-year-olds’ knowledge of fertility and reproductive health.

Related: My fertility problems made me feel like a failure | Sarah Fletcher

Couples are now finding it much more difficult to find stable accommodation and incomes

Feeling impotent and powerless ​in ​to kickstart the miracle of conception is all-consuming at times

I wish I’d frozen my eggs in my 20s

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Posh and pregnant: five-star childbirth at the Portland | Eva Wiseman

The Portland is the UK’s most exclusive private maternity hospital, but can all that candlelit fakery really distract from the blood and pain?

think I grew up watching the wrong kind of films. Otherwise, why would it be a daily disappointment to wake up surprised that I do not live in a hotel? The real disappointment though, comes from the wider realisation that life isn’t all hotels and champagne. That there are multiple times in a person’s life when a cream silk dressing gown is neither to hand nor wholly appropriate. That kills me, obviously, but I was dealing with it. Until I watched Five Star Babies: Inside the Portland Hospital.

The UK’s only private maternity hospital is proud to provide a “hotel experience” to its patients, with staff headhunted from the Dorchester, and every plate vajazzled with a shiny silver cloche. We meet Chinese “It girl” Lui Hui, who when asked what it would it be like having a baby if you didn’t have any money, replies: “Are you kidding me? I would die!” Her final bill is £40,000. One of the 50 Portland midwives remarks: “Sometimes you feel like a servant. [A patient’s] glass is next to her, and she’ll ask you to come and pick it up. But that’s the lifestyle in the Portland so you just have to do it.”

What are they offering that the NHS isn't? Well, the Portland will make you feel almost loved

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Are you worried about your fertility? | Sarah Marsh

Doctors warn that people, particularly men in their 30s, are jeopardising their chances of having a family by leaving it too late. Share your views on this

Young people could be putting their chances of becoming parents later in life at risk because of a lack of understanding about their fertility, according to the British Fertility Society (BFS).

Doctors warned that most people don’t consider their reproductive health until they are trying to conceive, unaware of any problems that they may then encounter. This has led to the BFS to call for children to be given fertility lessons.

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I don't want a baby but like the idea of having an adult child

Can I have one with a surrogate, get a nanny and my partner to bring the child up and play the role of the ‘traditional man’ until it is older?

I’m 40 and my boyfriend is 50. He has given me an ultimatum: have a baby or he’s gone. He has a teenager from a previous marriage and I have no children and have never wanted them, though I’ve never totally ruled it out. I am very fit and career-driven, and would want a surrogate. We both have good jobs and he says he would hire someone to take care of the baby. Is it possible (with a surrogate) to have our biological baby and expect that I can keep working after delivery, and have a nanny to take care of the baby (and rely on my partner)? Can I be the “traditional man” in this scheme, the partner who sees the baby after work but isn’t the primary carer. Has anyone out there made this fly? I should add that while I abhor the thought of having a toddler, the thought of an adult child to share life with is very appealing. I’d like to have that kind of relationship.

• When leaving a message on this page, please be sensitive to the fact that you are responding to a real person in the grip of a real-life dilemma, who wrote to Private Lives asking for help, and may well view your comments here. Please consider especially how your words or the tone of your message could be perceived by someone in this situation, and be aware that comments that appear to be disruptive or disrespectful to the individual concerned will be removed.

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Pregnant women with addictions need healthcare, not handcuffs | Hernandez D Stroud

Tennessee learned the hard way, with its disastrous fetal assault law. The other states considering punishing addicted mothers should heed its example

Every 19 minutes, a baby is born in America to a mother who struggles with opiate addiction, a percentage that has soared in the past decade alongside a broader addiction spike. The increase has forced some state lawmakers to decide whether the mother’s drug use, which can leave the baby with post-birth withdrawal called neonatal abstinence syndrome (NAS), is a criminal justice issue or a disease.

As with heroin and opioid addiction outside of pregnancy, the consensus among doctors and advocates is that this is a health matter, and not one for the courts. (NAS is a highly treatable condition without long-term effects, though it’s still an unfortunate one: newborns with NAS convulse, projectile vomit and emit a telltale shriek.) President Obama agrees – he recently announced an increase in funds dedicated to treatment, and an increase in the number of patients a doctor can treat with some maintenance medications.

Related: Curbing pain prescriptions won't reduce overdoses. More drug treatment will | Maia Szalavitz

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Outsourcing pregnancy: a visit to India's surrogacy clinics | Julie Bindel

Julie Bindel, a strident opponent of surrogacy, travelled to India to find out more about a practice worth an estimated £690m a year on the subcontinent

In Ahmedabad, Gujarat, my driver is looking for one of the city’s IVF clinics. We turn on to a busy main road and I spot a sign on a crumbling wall reading “test tube babies”.

I climb the filthy stairwell and enter a small, dark reception area. In the adjoining room I spot a hospital stretcher and shelves full of metal petri dishes, forceps and hypodermic needles.

Related: It is selfish to have a surrogate baby | Julie Bindel

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